I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
