I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
