I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize