I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
