is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
