I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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