we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
