Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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