Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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