it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize