laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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