I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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