is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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