I'm going to jail i love you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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