She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
