He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
