Don't you send me to vm
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
