Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Randomize
