i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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