Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
