And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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