Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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