If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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