he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
