When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
