he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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