It's Friday. Sex?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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