Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
