she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
