I think i peed on brittanys purse
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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