those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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