whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
