I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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