Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
