oh god the rape fog is back!
wanna go halves on a baby?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
