Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she woke up with a sticky ear
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
