Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sex in a hospital.. check
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
