Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
