dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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