If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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