Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
