is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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