Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
