if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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