we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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