Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
