I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
