OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
