You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
