I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Farmville is her only friend.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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