please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
