I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
