Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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