Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
