I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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