I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
