Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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