even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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