New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
