I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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