Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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