Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
