hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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