Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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