Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
