You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
