So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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