You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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