We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
