im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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