I want to have your abortion
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
