You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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