he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
