To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
