it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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