how hairy? two words: wookie tits
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
