ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
