Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
