i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
