I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize