You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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