i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
